My Deepavali in the 90s!

As the festive season falls upon us, I find myself reminiscing about my childhood Deepavali celebrations. I wonder if I could ever find the same excitement for the festival. My happiest and colorful Deepavalis were at my paternal grandmother's place in Mannargudi. It is a very small town near Thanjavur. There would be at least 10 of us in the big, old-fashioned house with thinnais on the exterior, one on each side of the door leading in to a long mitham at the center of which stands a tulasi maadam welcoming the guests. The living room, elevated from the mitham, turned super hot from the blazing heat that poured into it during the summer and super chill and breezy during the winter. I had spent most of my time there with my twin sister and my two cousins Baddu and Balaji. Wow, it feels like a distant dream now. Splashing water on each other from the cement tub in the rendaam kattu (second part or portion), the bathroom that did not have a ceiling, was one of our favorite time pass. Sacks of rice were once piled a little away from the long wooden swing in the living room. Four of us, kids around the age 7 or 8 I think, had so much fun swinging very high and landing on the pile of sacks. I remember the afternoons I spent making tiny vessels out of clay and filling them with juices squished out of the plants in the backyard.

On the day of Deepavali, we would wake up at 4 in the morning. All our new dresses would be stacked up in front of the pooja room. We'd head there straight out of bed and sit in front of the dresses waiting for our grandparents. Our thaatha and paati, who are no more, would rub some oil in our head and give us the new dress. Sometimes we, the kids, had to use the mitham for our bath as the bathroom was reserved for the elders. We didn't have geysers back then. They heated water in a large vessel on a wood-burning stove. After a hot steaming bath, we would dress up quickly, shivering and quivering, to join our cousins. There used to be a competition between the neighbors as to who will be the first to fire a sara vedi and decorate the road. Sara vedi has always been my favorite. It doesn't go Boom!!! with an unpleasant deafening noise. It is more like Pada Pada Pada ;) like a girl chattering loud and clear. Then busuvanam (flower pot) is my second favorite. Again it is an agreeable sound, BhuzzZZZzz, and a treat to the eyes too. But something has changed these days. I am no longer interested in firing crackers. May be I am growing old ;) It's just too noisy and smoky out there! Well, going back to my child hood now, my dad or uncle usually rushed to be the first to fire a saram in the street. We would all then light flower pots in a row. When the morning loses its last bit of darkness and it is no longer possible to enjoy the dazzling light from the crackers, we would start lighting the paambu maathirai (snake tablet) which when lit, rises and coils into snake like shapes. When the cracker frenzy is over finally, we would get to the endless varieties of sweets and savories. Oh dear god, ravaa laadu was and is still my favorite. I take each and every bite hoping to find that buried treasure of a cashew nut or an almond! Ah and the very famous, Deepavali Marundhu! Well, It is a kind of medicine, a dark green colored paste, made to keep your digestive system working as you keep over working it. Then there would be calls from our relatives asking, 'Ganga snanam aacha?'. I should find out why they ask that! :) Do you know?

Wishing you all a colorful and vibrant Deepavali!

The Ultimate Irony!

   As I delve into my self, trying to make sense of my existence or my 'quarter life crisis' as they call it, I find myself questioning faith. Born in a typical middle class Brahmin family, I grew up watching my mom start the day with slohas. She wouldn't miss any hindu God I would say. I remember reciting many slohas every morning as a kid. As I grew older, I gradually lost the habit. I started my 20s with a lot of questions. In my mid 20s now, I am still trying to figure out the answers, if at all there are any. I must admit though, that this seeking in itself is a Joy. I have always been amazed at my mom's faith in God. But I failed to associate myself, devote myself to these physical forms, I would like to call, of Gods.

   I have always believed that my God is faceless. God doesn't care about one's religion or caste. Whenever I gaze at the Sea, the mighty waters that change their color under the Sun light, with their incessant tides sloshing up and down the rocks, I find myself astonished by the wonder Nature is. Likewise, rivers give me this feeling of ecstasy. I visited Galibore nature camp on the banks of river Cauvery, near Bangalore two years back. It was pure joy to listen to the perpetual humming of the water flowing on the river bed. Moments like these make me wonder if this is what God is. The impeccable beauty of Nature, the goodness in people, the empathy that we feel towards others, those little acts of kindness in moments of misery, that feeling of gratitude, these are all my physical forms of God, of Faith. I would like to believe that.

  Recently, I happened to watch a few episodes of Mahabharatham on TV. I haven't read the great hindu epics or holy books of any religion. I remember hearing stories from my grandmother though. She used to tell me how Krishna, a naughty kid, ate mud from the garden. When his mother chided him and asked him to open his mouth, he opened his mouth to show her the entire universe. I was fascinated. I always thought Krishna is this God, who is not so angry or scary like Siva or Kaali.

  So I happened to watch the episodes in which Krishna gives Updesh to Arjuna. He tells Arjuna that he is the Paramathma. He is neither a man nor a woman. He is not the gender that is neither of the two. He is the entire universe. He is Lord Siva, Kaali, Brahma, Saraswathi and everything in the Universe. All human beings are a fragment of Paramathma. Well he tells a lot more. What got me thinking was, Krishna said that he is a human form of the almighty. Here the significance lies with the Universe, the Nature, the Energy, Science or whatever you want to call it. And not with the mere human form of God.

  But that is where it got tricky I guess. People started associating this power and ecstasy with the human form. So one says Vishnu is the almighty. The other says Shiva is the one. So they got busy fighting for their Rama, Allah and every other God in every way possible, thus forgetting the ultimate truth that God has no face. God doesn't know religion or race. Religion was created to make men lead a noble life and give him a sense of what is just and what is not. Different people understand things in different ways and so were born different religions with different practices conforming to the geography, food habits and the very nature of people. So people understood the exact opposite of what God was trying to say. Don't you think this is an irony? Isn't it amazing that a small change in perspective could make things look different?

 Well, these are just my musings. I might be wrong. Feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comments! :)

Christmas or Christmas eve? New year's day or the New year's eve?

Ho Ho Ho... Hope you all had a great Christmas!

I just love this season. It brings home a lot of joy and happiness.. pure joy that melts in your mouth, yep, you are right.. ;) endless chocolates, Christmas cake and sweets effectively ruining my diet. While munching on some Ferrero Rocher chocolates and swirling in the balls of chocolate and nuts this afternoon, I was thinking which is the most joyous part of a festival? The day before the actual celebration when there is a lot of preparation, anticipation and excitement or the day of the celebration? Christmas starts days before the 25th of December right. I start the season by watching Thanksgiving and Christmas episodes from my ever favorite sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. This is not just for Christmas, ;) my birthdays start with 'The one where they all turn 30'. I just like to have a good laugh! I enjoy my small Christmas shopping. I walk around the Mission Street here in Pondicherry. Small shops that sell Christmas trees and decorations are set on the pavements during the season. I love going through all the bright jingly stuff.

Then starts the tree decoration process with all those colorful glittering balls, stars, bows, tiny Santas, tinsel, lights et all! Until the day of Christmas, the jitters and glitters continue everyday! And then Bam! Its over! Now what? I have New Year to look forward to! The same happens with New year's eve. It is the 31st of December we are all more thrilled about, busy making up resolutions that will probably last one month. With bundles of hope and new aspirations we look forward to the New year. However, we all know the fact that, how our New year pans out will not just depend on our resolutions and the holiday season's hang over! ;) I mean we got to get into some real action, N'est-ce pas? :) I had spent my Christmas vacation of 2013 in Mumbai. It was a fun trip with family, jolly and eventful. Now, nothing would explain my first week of the New Year better than this meme.

Haha! I seriously had not planned or worked for anything different! That was a lesson learnt! Mmmm.. Will 2015 be different? Will let you know! :)

I personally enjoy the Eve more than the Big day! What about you?

Here's wishing you all a wonderful and lovely New Year!
Bubye fellas! :) :)

The game of survival!

Is life a game of survival? I ask myself as I sit here writing this on a weekday afternoon. I am home on a Tuesday afternoon instead of being at work. I have been suffering from back pains every now and then since the beginning of the year. Doctors, x-rays, exercises have become a routine. Well, to be honest, exercises didn't become a routine and that's why I am here, not working. Doctors say its due to my bad postures, sitting for hours in front of my computer, very less physical activity, blah blah. Hey there.. don't worry this is not a 'Bored software engineer suddenly turned into a self improvement guru' story.

But the most prominent thing in my life in the past two months has been pain. I read books, watched TEDx videos on health and dealing with pain. One book suggested that I think of all the things I am thankful for in my life when I am in pain. Gratitude! This way whenever the pain gets bad you concentrate on all the great things in your life and not on the pain. It did help a little. But in this busy rat race of a life... Okay I hear you saying 'oh.. come on.. I am not in a race. My life is quiet fun!'.

Okay even if you are not in a race, 5 days of work, two days of fun or relaxation, lots of new stuff to learn and explore... Too much in the basket! Well, that's not bad. Yeah it wasn't all bad. I started learning to skate. Didn't finish it though. Learning French. Learnt Yoga which I stopped doing regularly after a year! Learnt about Psychology.. Advertising.. Programming.. But I failed to learn the most important of all things. My body. My mind. And what I was doing to them!

Most living things in the world are just in a game of survival. You see how a cheetah or a tiger has to pee and declare its territory, hunt and bring food and thus become the leader of the gang. I wonder if most people are doing the same, playing a game of survival. Work to make ends meet, to raise their children, to give their children better life, to be a master in their field of subject, to have a decent standard of living as per the 'what your society thinks' scale. Well good job doing all that. But most of us tend to ignore the machine that is going through all of this. We forget to pay attention to our body as long as it listens to us. It is high time we listen to it.

Well what did I learn by listening to my body?

• Human body is not meant for sitting for hours together. It is a must that you take small breaks every now and then during long hours of sitting. Go to the wash room or vending machine or take a stroll in and around the work place.
• Discipline is difficult but a must for healthy life. You can train yourself by repeating the activities of your choice everyday. You will fail and give up in the beginning. But push yourself for a little longer every time you are tempted to quit.
• You really know how much you need to eat. Just listen to your stomach and watch what you eat.
• Body is more like a machine. You need to lubricate it, keep it in active mode and not in couch potato mode for it to function properly. Exercise is a must.
• Study yourself. Your thoughts, posture, the way you carry yourself, how you react to different situations and everything about yourself.

So go study yourself!

In the pursuit of faith...

  She went to the beach everyday. But today was different. The entire beach was decorated with serial lights to celebrate the Independence Day. The secretariat, the Gandhi statue and the Kargil Memorial were shining happily in their new attire. It looked like they had a beauty competition between themselves. She imagined that the waves were swallowed by jealousy as the crowd which came every day to appreciate their beauty, was suddenly attracted by those buildings. "It wont last long!", She could hear them smirk. On that note, they continued to rise and fall against the rocks nonchalantly.

  She admired the beach. Yes, there was no sand here to dig holes or build sand castles. But she adored the neat dikes, the stone benches and the pavement where people walked and jogged. She stood there inhaling the immense beauty of the beach. Sometimes the vastness of the sea stunned her. She told herself, "May be this here is the God, the Faith the world talks about!" She never understood faith. She asked herself several times how to develop faith in someone or something. But when she was here in the beach, she was able to embrace faith.

   In this happiness and peace she saw him. She admired him for his faith in life, for his faith in god. When she was not at the beach, she found Faith in him. Her heart swelled and collapsed with every wave. She missed him a lot. In him she found the tranquility, the serenity and the power of the Sea! She looked at the infinite sea, the supreme power and thanked Her for bringing him in her life. She began to cherish the distance between them that made her love him even more. 

Farewell!

We often do not realize the value of things that are close to us. Do we? When someone who has been a part of our daily life has to leave, to take a new road in the journey of life, suddenly there comes this hollow feeling. A sudden empty space in our life. Makes me wonder if it's true that we are all one and the same. Minions of the single vast mighty universe, perhaps! :)

No matter what, the clock keeps ticking infinitely and so do we move on along with it. Sometimes, those who left stick to us or we stick to them in spite of the distance. I have come to know that, in the end, all that matters is the love and blessings we have earned during our stint in this world.

This post is dedicated to a friend of mine who is about to start a new life. I wish you all the happiness and love in this world! :) And I hope this friendship lasts for a life time! :)

Good luck dude!!!

The celebrity mania...

Ever wonder what did our parents do when they visited places as a kid? What did they do on Mother's day? I don't know what they did, but they definitely did not spend most of their time taking photos to upload on Facebook and did not keep counting the likes every now and then. They did not wish their parents, who were not in Facebook, on Facebook. They did not have Facebook back then. I see people who not only count their likes but also insist, 'insist' would be a lighter word here, 'pester' their friends to like their photo so it would reach 100! Yey! Congratulations! You got 100 likes.. So!? 

Wanting to be liked and to be accepted as a part of a group is human nature. Sometimes, I wonder if Facebook, in one way or the other, is making an impact on this human nature. All of us want to look good and naturally, we are all happy when we are complimented for our looks or our work. With its brilliant methods of 'like', 'share' and notifications, has Facebook led to increased flaunting? We see people checking in from airports, but nobody wants to check in from the jam packed local bus in the city. But seriously... Why would someone do that! ;) I have seen posts about having taken a leak! Duh! We don't want to know about your bio-break schedule! 

I am not against Facebook or anything. Don't get me wrong here! I do agree that people connect and stay in touch with friends, promote their business and do so many other things in Facebook. But on some level, Facebook has created the need for 'Public display of things'. Public display of 'whatever it is' is an individual choice. There is nothing wrong about it unless it disturbs or affects someone. But the 'need' for public display can lead us into a pitfall, an exaggeration of life!  Facebook might be creating teens who derive their confidence and self image out of the number of likes they receive, adding to the peer pressure. 

Moreover, look at the time we would be saving if we add up all those teeny tiny moments spent checking the notifications and likes.