Yes, you gals out there, I am talking about the mighty Army
of Aunties. We have all come across them, often dreading the occasion and their
verbal bombardments. For those of you who haven’t… you lucky fellas! They are
often spotted in social gatherings such as weddings, parties and festivals,
with prying eyes all set to fire upon their target. Their power is directly
proportional to the size of the army. The more in number they are, the more catastrophic
their actions are. Well, why are we talking about the mighty AA now?
This morning I woke up to a number of messages from friends
and family wishing me a happy women’s day. I thought to myself, that’s
interesting, for once we women celebrate each other. While we forward messages
and text each other ‘Happy Women’s day’, why don’t we take a moment and think
what it really means to us. To me, it means breaking the rigid gender roles, stereotypes
and expectations and living by setting an example. I strongly believe that
change begins within. So it has to begin from us, women. The mighty AA or not, we
can all start with questions like,
‘Am I treating the women in my life with respect?’
‘Beyond the veil of gender, sex and her role… be it a
mother, daughter, wife, friend, daughter- in-law, do I see the individual in
her? ’
If you are a mother, ‘do I raise my son and daughter the
same way with same values? ’
We like to think we
are not people who disrespect or look down upon fellow women. We come from
decent families; we are educated, working, open minded; that’s who we are; these
are not our problems. But a few minutes of introspection can tell us that that
is far from reality. How many of you married women out there, have been asked
for the ‘good news’ a few months into the marriage? And I bet it was a woman
who asked you that. Mmmm… let me guess, General AA! And it doesn’t stop there,
does it? Some even dare to ask about period cycles and go on to recommend
doctors. Now tell me, how often have you seen a guy ask a guy for the good news? Does
anyone ask a guy about his sperm count and motility? It sounds ridiculous and inappropriate
right. Asking about a woman’s reproductive system and when she would reproduce
is equally ridiculous, inappropriate and offensive.
It is high time we break free from the shell of gender roles
our society has imposed on us. Cave men
were much stronger than women and hence they wisely chose to be the hunters,
the bread winners of the family while the cave women stayed back, nurtured and
protected their babies. They did what was necessary to survive and propagate
their genes. Now that we no longer live in caves and in the wilderness, our
bodies, lives and consequently our roles have greatly changed. Back in the wilderness,
only men with a well built body and women with the right chest waist
proportions could survive. As civilizations grew, science and technology grew. Small framed men could now survive and
succeed, as mere physical strength didn’t matter anymore. And women had more
chances of surviving child birth with the advent of medical science. We have
come a long way from all that. As science and technology evolve, our lives
evolve. So the roles imposed on men and women should evolve too, right!?
I believe it is not possible to talk about women empowerment
without talking about gender equality. We see women scorn women who cannot
cook. We see women judge women for their choice of career. We, as a society,
judge a guy based on his ability to provide for his family, while screaming for
gender equality and feminism on the other side. We secretly detest the soft,
sensitive guy who embraces his feminine side and openly slam the bold, daring
girl who embraces her masculine side. We cling on to our roles dearly and look
for the same in others. Guess what fellas, cling all you want, but you will soon
learn that you got to let it go. Well, AA or not, it is not all your fault. We
are all conditioned by the people around us, our upbringing and the society. But
we can try to better ourselves by taking a few moments to think before we begin
to judge. Let the thinking begin!
So ‘Happy Women’s day’,
what does it mean to you?
